About Me

My photo
The older I get, the more cynical I get. It is not a fact I am proud of, but it is a fact. I disbelieve just about everything the establishment and the media tell us. I am convinced that we are manipulated into being the submissive, law-abiding robots that we have become. It grieves me greatly.

Thursday 28 February 2013

Skillset: Celebrity

There are days when, even before I get out of bed in the morning, I am in a rage at the world.  This is generally because of something I have read via my phone on either web-based news or twitter.  Neither of these acts are to be recommended so early in the day and I must give them up.  Today's pillow rage was caused by a tweet highlighting that Waitrose have dumped one cookery writer and hired another.

Firstly the fact that this should even appear on my radar is worrying.  I could channel my menopausal rage to direct it at far more worthy causes.  I don't currently live near enough to a Waitrose to shop there regularly.  Even when I did, I abandoned them in disgust when they stopped selling 'Black Farmer' sausages and introduced Duchy of Cornwall instead (you have to like sausages a lot to understand this, and possibly be menopausal as well).   They did over-egg the Delia Smith connection, however this I could just about forgive, because I was one of the many who learned to cook via Delia's bible.  Nigella and Jamie's books have passed me by,  Delia's tomes will be with me forever.  I think it is sad that at 71 she is on the shelf, or in Waitrose's case off the shelf, but she will hardly struggle for money and, for all I know, may even have instigated the departure.

Secondly, I don't know Pippa Middleton, the 'up and coming writer' who, according to the tweet (so it must be true) ousted Saint Delia.  Ms Middleton is not an offensive person, as far as I am aware.  She has neither said nor written anything worthy of my ire.  When I did shop in Waitrose, I didn't buy their magazine, so why would I care who writes for it?  I care because Ms Middleton is famous for her family connections, not for her ability to either write or cook.  It seems an odd choice for Waitrose, but it has garnered publicity, so I suspect it has fulfilled its purpose.  Should Ms Middleton turn out to be a terrible columnist, it will give Waitrose even greater publicity, so in some respects they are in a win-win situation. 

However, I expect more of Waitrose with their much spouted values and ethics.  We are obsessed with the cult of celebrity, but along with 'good food honestly priced' (overlooking a recent meatball hiccup) I expect good columnists, honestly hired for the experience and talent.  It is a sad indictment of our society that if you are directly related to an ageing rockstar or royalty, or were once a member of a plastic-packed pop band you are well-placed on the ladder to any one of a number of careers including journalism, fashion (either designing or modelling), photography, television and radio presenting.  One ageing rocker's daughter has tried pretty much all of those routes and received a succession of lucrative contracts despite her lack of experience and talent.

Nepotism is hardly new, it was much employed by the Borgias in the middle-ages.  We should also be grateful that the current rich and famous do not maintain their status and wealth in the same manner as the Egyptian pharaohs, who extended the divine right to rule to include a divine right to practice incest, in order to retain the sacred bloodline.  It is less the nepotism and more the triumph of mediocrity that bothers me.  If you can just about scrape by as a writer, a DJ or a fashion designer or, and I suspect this is more likely, put your name to another's work, you can sell.  Between 2007 and 2011, only one female DJ even made it onto an industry-recognised DJ Top 100 list.  Evidence that female DJs are struggling to be recognised, when they have the talent and experience to do the job, so as a radio station boss, why hire someone with no experience, and little discernible talent for that job or any other, but wait - they were once in a girl band, so the sprinkling of waning celebrity glitter will gloss over any shortcomings.

Why I am surprised, I don't know.  Letting celebrities play at any career of their choice is the least of our worries.  We also let straight to management morons run huge corporates and public services because they are CEOs, that is what they do.  The evidence stacked up against them that what they 'do' is done very badly, sometimes with catastrophic results, is sadly no obstacle to continued and very well-rewarded employment in a similar organisations, most likely funded by our tax money.  I suspect that it isn't them, it's me.  I am the one who is behind the times and set in my ways.  I am also a consumer, so I can choose not to shop in Waitrose, not to listen to Heart FM, not to buy newspapers with celebrity columnists and ghost written sports columns.  However it still grates that so much mediocrity is so well rewarded, because those with the talent, skills, enthusiasm and experience for the roles are knocked out of the way by a famous surname, or a much photographed backside.  By reading tweets about it all and blogging it I am as guilty as anyone of celebrating the undeserving.  However, it is now harder than ever in my neck of the woods to buy Black Farmer sausages and Waitrose fondness for the products and progeny of the Prince of Wales have to take a portion of the blame.

Friday 1 February 2013

Conference Marketing as an Essential Part of DNA

I have been employed for two months now. I am sort of settling in, but can't say I feel inspired - however, who these days gets to be inspired?  You get paid, and you're grateful.  Both the pay and the gratitude will be short-lived.  I am on a fixed term contract, and the person I am covering for is returning to post.  So it is back to the job-seeking for me.  


I haven't yet ramped my search up to the 6 applications a day level I reached in my heyday of unemployed misery.  This time I am going for quality over quantity, and of course I am still employed until the end of February, so any search will lack urgency.  I looked back through my previous applications and saved job advertisements to see if I could spot a pattern in the failed applications.  The pattern soon became clear, I was far too easily sidetracked by job descriptions for which I was eminently unsuitable but highly entertained.  

My favourite amongst the 'vacancies I can't apply for, but just have to read anyway' had to be a marketing role.  The job advert specified "Conference marketing is intuitive and must be an essential part of your DNA.".   Having browsed hundreds, maybe even thousands of job vacancies, this was the first that demanded a specific gene.  I was aware that the our genetic makeup was of interest to medicine and biotechnology, however the marketing firm should be congratulated in linking it to marketing.  It could be seen as an innovative and bold step.  Equally it could also be seen as pretentious crap, but it's a Friday, let's be generous here.  There were, however, several areas for concern raised by the genetic criterion in the role, and, at the time, I was so fascinated by it that I actually drafted a list of questions (now we start to understand why my job search took so long!).  

The advert was placed back in May 2012.  9 months later, I am still quite fascinated by it.  When you consider the money the tobacco industry has poured into marketing, and the lobbying it has undertaken to protect its product, it is almost plausible to believe certain companies would go to such extremes to find a marketing gene.  So next time you are about to dismiss a marketing executive as a pretentious, overpaid git, you are probably right, but do consider that it may be they can't help it, it's all in their genes.  



(i) The Equality Act (2010) restricts what employers and recruitment agencies can ask about in pre-employment medical checks, i.e. it must be directly relevant to the candidate's ability to carry out the role.  In this instance, the company and/or the employer they were representing would have to provide findings in support of a theory that some humans possess a specific marketing gene.  Had they invested in research on this?  Were there any developments resulting from this research?  Is there contradictory evidence available that suggests individuals not in possession of a marketing gene can still have a successful career in marketing and, indeed, can still lead fulfilling lives?  

(ii) Any discrimination based on genetic features is prohibited within the EU.  This may seem somewhat unfair when the marketing company may have spent billions investing in the Human Genome Project in order to identify a possible marketing gene, but had they taken into account the considerable further expense they may have incurred fighting charges of genetic discrimination through the European Courts?  

(iii) If any organisation is involved in gathering human tissue and cells for the purpose of DNA testing, it is first necessary to obtain a licence from the Human Tissue Authority.  Has this been obtained? I've worked in marketing departments, lovely, creative people, but really averse to anything that doesn't have a soundbite, a logo or a pitch and licence applications would definitely be shoved to the bottom of the pile. 

(iv) DNA testing cannot be carried out on individuals without their qualifying consent and valid consent.  This would have been an area of particular concern with candidates for this role because there is a requirement that consent must be given voluntarily.  If a requirement of consideration for this role is that candidates must have submitted to DNA testing, that may suggest coercion.  Such coercion might be illegal and may even lead to a prison sentence.  Did the marketing company adequately obtaining such consent?  

(v) The most fascinating question of all, were they thinking of introducing a breeding programme once sufficient numbers of 'marketing gene' candidates of each gender had been identified?   If so, would such creation of a 'super marketing race' be naturally bred or genetically modified.