TO DIY OR NOT TO DIY

Today I was thinking about ripping up the carpet in the dining room and sanding the floorboards.  When I say 'today' I mean for the last three years, however I decided as the dog is away on holiday and I have nothing planned until tomorrow, today might be a good day.  

I type that as if it is something I could easily achieve, and not only easily achieve, but all in one day.  However I am no expert at DIY, I am not even particularly a novice.  I have a few tools, including a cordless drill and an electric planer.  I have actually used all of my tools at some point - for the purpose for which they were designed and without disaster. 

That said, the carpets are still in grave need of removal, either to spruce up the floorboards or lay new carpet.  I rented my house out for some years, have had a dog for a year and kicked a full glass of red wine over the lounge - by accident I hasten to add, it wasn't an expensive wine, but it wasn't as bad as to justify such violence.  Someone who had never met me and wasn't particularly observant could probably deduce the carpet's history quite quickly.  Cleaning has been no help at all, not even cleaning by other people who are more accustomed to the domestic arts.  Carefully placed rugs haven't been much help , particularly as one rug, once white now off off off white, has become the dog's new 'day bed', and the other looks very much as though the last tenant used it to park his motorbike - literally.  

I am spurred on by the efforts of a neighbour who has done this with his floors - completely by hand, not even with the aid of a hand-held sander.  They look really good now, but he is very good at DIY.  Two different friends of mine, both of whom are a dab-hand with a toolbox and a renovation project, have strongly advised against it and suggest the much wiser and easier route of 'getting someone in'.  I have a long list of jobs which involve 'getting someone in', the floorboards are quite near the bottom and, of course, I still have the continuing problem of not having 'getting someone in' money.    

Once I rip up the carpets in a room, I am committed to renovating the floorboards or replacing the carpet.  I know the floorboards are not in a brilliant state so I couldn't rip up the carpets and take my time.  The previous owners have removed a few sections and replaced them with some kind of MDF.   I don't know why they removed them - but if they were that rotten, there may be further problems there which could cost a year's jobseekers' allowance to cure.  Even if the remaining boards are fine,  I will have to buy at least enough timber to replace the missing sections.  I might not be a DIY expert, but even I know MDF will never look like the existing floorboards.  Then I started wondering about how you go about matching new boards with old, sanded boards.  It suddenly occurred to me I could stain them with tea.  Tea!  Why would I even have that thought.  There are thousands of wood stains on the market.  What kind of idiot thinks "I'll stain the floors with tea"?  Clearly the kind of idiot who should never, ever be let loose on DIY. 

My neighbour, who can be let loose on DIY, took his carpet up very carefully and rolled it equally carefully to be stored away in his very neat loft - lest the floorboards should let a howling gale through in winter.  Once my carpets are up, I want them out of the house never to return.  Also my loft is a hoarder's paradise as it is.  Adding a huge role of grubby carpet to the collection just creates more items that will never see the light of day again.   Also there is just me doing this.  I am short.  I cannot imagine that I would be up to careful rolling and putting in lofts, and I don't want to be always asking someone for help.  

I have pondered on where to start, when it occurred to me that I have the perfect testing area.  There is a step from the dining room to the utility room and kitchen which was neither carpeted nor painted.  The carpet layer presumed it would be painted, the painter presumed it would be sanded and varnished.  I discussed it with neither.  It has stayed in its paint splodged, grime encrusted state for several years whilst I walked over it, not even noticing it most of the time.  I could test out my sanding skills.  Not only could I, I would and indeed, I now have.  

Last night I had a look on Google and YouTube for a few sanding tips.  I've learned a few tips from YouTube, one of them being "be wary of instructional 'tips' on YouTube". Most of the articles and clips started or ended with the words 'don't do it'.  I ignored those, because that is just defeatist and a little bit boring.  I chose the one I liked the look of most, i.e. it seemed the simplest for me to follow.  Diagonal sanding with coarse grain, across the grain with medium and along the grain with fine sandpaper.  I have a sanding block, I have coarse grain sandpaper.  I'm ready to rock - well at least to sand. 

With hindsight I might have wanted to Google a bit further.  Should I have cleaned the step with white spirit first to attempt to remove the paint splodges?  They weren't large and in my innocence I assumed that the merest swipe with sandpaper would send them scuttering into my dustpan.  However, I didn't and there is no use crying over unspilt white spirit.  I tore my coarse grain sandpaper into appropriate sized strips.  If and when I do a whole floor, or even a whole floorboard, I will have knee pads, a mask and a game plan, but this was just a step.  It wouldn't be that messy, would it?  I think we all know the answer to that one.

I started sanding with a diagonal movement.  I did the whole step.  Either my sandpaper is a little too coarse or I pressed too hard because there are hideous diagonal scratches along the whole step.  Getting someone in is looking less and less like a luxury decision.  Can you press too hard with sandpaper?  I can understand hovering too long with an electric sander, one good reason why I am going to avoid that if possible, but I'm

a little taken aback that I and a sandblock could inflict such unsightly marks.  I haven't yet got medium and fine grain sanding paper, and I didn't like the look of the diagonal marks, so as this is a test area, albeit a highly visible test area, I decided to continue with the 'across the grain' and 'along the grain' sanding with the coarse grain sandpaper.  I dispensed quickly with the 'across the grain' session because it was having a similar effect as the diagonal trial, i.e. a very bad effect.  I finished off the step just by going along the grain.  The dust it created was unbelievable. Actually I had been warned about this by everyone who has ever attempted it or paid someone else to do it.  But this wasn't a room, it was a small step so the amount of dust was a shock.  I also couldn't credit that whilst there was so much wood dust,  so few paint splodges have been removed.  

I did consider before and after photos, so I could see for myself the improvement and the error of my ways.  But that would have delayed my trial for at least 20 seconds and I wanted to play at DIY.  I have taken a couple of 'after' pictures, although they are actually more 'after 2 minutes of playing and now I'm not so sure' rather than after completion.  For better or for worse the step is different.  It is definitely lighter in colour.  All the faults are still mostly there - the paint splodges, a small gouge, cracks and, I presume, a couple of decades of ingrained grime. I actually quite like the shade I can see it could all be, with proper sanding.  It has convinced me that the way forwards is to repair and enhance the existing floor.  It will take an awful lot to convince me that I am the person to do it.  I will take advice from the man who can, particularly with regard to pre-sanding treatment, type of sandpaper and direction of sanding. But, for today, I will only be sanding the step.  I remain in sanding kindergarten.