Strangers on a Train

I had an odd encounter on the train home this evening.  It didn't result in any murderous pacts, so there is little justification at all for using it as the title of this blog.  However be grateful, I could have gone for the even more cheesy 'close encounters of the unwelcome kind'. 

I had been to dinner with friends in Islington.  They are a lovely family, so I forgive them for living in a fabulous house in N1.  We had a pleasant evening, then I set off to get the train home to Kent.  Because it's a Sunday, the train seemed almost empty.  Had it been a Friday or Saturday, the late train would generally be standing room only, and every carriage full of the sickly smell of McDonald's.  I had a group of 4 seats to myself with a young man across the aisle from me who spent most of the journey asleep.

All the windows in the carriage were open.  Although there was a cool breeze, it was more refreshing than cold.  Just before the stop prior to mine, the sleeping beauty across the aisle awoke.  He then curled himself into a foetal position and started groaning.  I ignored him.  Other passengers gave a few glances in his direction, then also ignored him.  It was late, he was probably a bit drunk.  

Waking up again, he started groaning more loudly and wailing about being cold.  He got up and came and stood over me, which was quite disconcerting.  I had my bag on the seat next to me.  He indicated for me to move it, he was cold and wanted to sit next to me.  I said no and told him to go back 'over there'.  He slammed shut all the windows, glared at me as if he has shut them to spite me and then tried to sit next to me again.  I told him to go away, again.  By this time the man in the block of seats in front of us was paying concerned attention, and I felt a bit safer knowing this.  My new, unwanted, best friend curled up opposite me to go to sleep and then started trying to grab my leg.  I kicked out and shouted at him to get off me.  He did.  He was more like an annoying overgrown toddler than a sexual predator - but the kind of toddler you don't want to be alone with at night.  He looked at me for some time before announcing that he 'liked' me.  I hardly glanced in his direction when I replied that I really wasn't that keen on him.  I was reminded of the old Jasper Carrot sketch, the nutters on the bus who always sits next to him, ranting about nuclear bombs in pockets and looking for their camel.  Some women meet the love of their life on the train, even if like Celia Johnson it is a doomed affair.  But no, I have to meet a local crazy.  

The man who had been monitoring the situation advised me to move.  I thanked him, but said I shouldn't have to.  The drunk sat up and asked me who was annoying me.  He looked quite mystified when I advised him that it was he.  I decided that standing your ground is all well and good in some situations, but staying in an environment where you are uncomfortable and in the company of  someone potentially volatile may be unwise.  I moved to the next block of seats.

I started chatting to the man who had shown so much concern.  Laughing about the incident took much of the fear out of it.  All three of us stood up to get off at Rochester - me, my saviour and the strange drunk.  I was very relieved that I had someone to walk along the platform with.  There were no taxis outside, but the man who had come to my rescue asked which way I was gong and walked away from the station and up the hill with me to make sure I wasn't followed.  It turned out that he lives quite near me, so I had company on the walk home and we never stopped chatting.  My would-be assailant staggered off in the opposite direction.

I wouldn't say I had been filled with fear, but I had definitely felt uneasy.  At one point I was blocked into the seat, because the drunk sat with his legs barring my exit.  Although he had seemed more ridiculous than scary, I doubt very much he would have picked on another man in the way he did me.  His words were friendly enough, if unwelcome and annoying.  His actions, however,  were quite aggressive and his body language almost threatening.  If someone else hadn't come to my rescue, I might have stayed on until the next stop, to avoid further contact.  Now I look back, I link him getting up and trying to sit next to me with me putting my jacket on.  Possibly in his head, he was cold and I was cold, so it would make sense to huddle together.  

I am used to walking home from the station, or walking the dog late at night, without incident.  I have convinced myself that women 'of my age' generally are not the target of sexual predators.  This may be a very foolish and naive assumption.  It also doesn't rule out random attacks, either physical or verbal, from drunks or the unstable.  The incident won't stop me getting the train in the evening and I take heart that a complete stranger came so readily to my assistance.  I was assaulted on a train 20 years ago.  In that case, a carriage full of men pretended to be deaf and dumb when I asked for help and the station staff when I got to my destination said there was nothing they could do as my attacker ran from the train out of the station.  I was in complete shock afterwards and kept on telling myself I had over-reacted - 'all' he had done was put his hand up my skirt, mock me loudly when I objected and then stand over me (he had been sat opposite) - completely blocking me from moving.   Now I am older and more confident and times have changed.  Although I note that in the paragraph above I try and justify the drunk's actions, so maybe I haven't changed that much.  Assaults are not a thing of the past, but we are more sure of our right not to have to put up with random assaults, even ones so minor ones they are hardly worthy of the term 'assault'.   I was very lucky to have sat so near someone willing to help.  I can cope with the odd nutter whilst there are so many good samaritans around.  I will also pay more heed to  the first rule of first aid 'remove the hazard, if you can't remove the hazard, remove yourself', because it seems more useful to self-preservation than my instinct to stand my ground and refuse to compensate for someone else's bad behaviour.